New Arrivals: Roseanne, Doc, an Injured Clock, and a Lost Boek Found

“The Roseanne Show”

Roseanne Barr hosted a talk show that aired for two seasons at the end of the 1990s. A Roseanne fan recently posted an episode from 1998 that includes a segment with Diana Nyad and two Olympic gold medalists: Jackie Joyner-Kersee and Mary Lou Retton.

In the following clip, Nyad is stone-cold believable as she recites her Olympic Trials fable. She also implies that she worked out eight hours a day when she was eight, nine, and ten years old. That would have been difficult, given that Nyad didn’t begin competitive swimming until she was twelve. And, of course, she never qualified for the Olympic Trials.

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Chasing the Swimmer, part 3: Chloë

part 1part 2 – part 3

Afterword: Chloë McCardel

For Diana Nyad, marathon swimming is a zero-sum game. The sport has room for only one great swimmer, the swimmer: Diana Nyad. So, when she talks about other swimmers—especially other female marathon swimmers—she often denigrates them while minimizing or ignoring their accomplishments. How else can Nyad elevate her achievements above those of so many far better athletes?

In her Off-Broadway show, The Swimmer, Nyad first belittles Judith de Nijs (see part 1). Later, she goes after the great Australian marathoner, Chloë McCardel. One of only five people in history to have completed an English Channel triple, McCardel has crossed the EC a total of 44 times, more than anyone in history.

Diana Nyad, who once claimed to hold “all the major records on planet Earth, out in the open sea,” attempted the English Channel three times in 1976 but couldn’t get across once. She gave up and never returned.

McCardel tried the Cuba-Florida swim in June of 2013, just a few months before Nyad’s endeavor. In The Swimmer, Nyad says she resents anyone else attempting the crossing before she does, all but declaring the Florida Straits hers alone. “Diana, you do not own this ocean,” says Stoll.

Yeah, well, it seems like I took ownership of it over all these long-suffering attempts.

Nyad goes on to describe the great distress she feels while watching McCardel’s attempt. “You honestly want the others to fail,” Nyad says. When it becomes clear that Chloë’s in trouble, Nyad’s elated. Eventually, she learns that box jellyfish stings have forced  McCardel to leave the water. Nyad should be able to empathize. Instead, all she can drum up is a sarcastic, “well, as long as she’s alright. My turn.”

Chloë, on the other hand, always speaks of Nyad with genuine respect and admiration—far more than Nyad deserves.

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I want to leave you with the transcript of the McCardel section of The Swimmer because it reveals so much about Nyad. Bear in mind that most of the thoughts, words, and actions Nyad ascribes to others are most likely her own. For instance, she claims that, when those jellyfish stings forced McCardel to abandon her swim, John Bartlett “jumped for joy.” I didn’t know Bartlett personally, but I’ve heard and read enough about him to know that he would not have celebrated McCardel’s misery.

Diana Nyad is another story.

[Begins at 57:49]

Nyad: One day out training we get wind that the young strong Australian swimmer Chloë McCardle is in Havana. She’s swimming out the next day. We rush back to Team central. We all gather around CNN, and there’s Chloë announcing to the world that, oh, the Australians are experts at the box jellyfish. They have a foolproof plan. She declares this as a swim of her life. I’m in a panic.

Stoll: Diana, you do not own this ocean

Nyad: Yeah, well, it seems like I took ownership of it over all these long-suffering attempts. Now I’m gonna sit around and watch this other swimmer for days make a go of it?

Stoll: We can’t sleep. We play Scrabble and cards ’til three in the morning. She paces to four. Then, at dawn, the whole team meets at swim Central.

Nyad: We’re tuned into Chloë’s website. Her boat sends out a ping every 20 minutes.

Stoll: She’s making pretty good headway north.

Nyad: Should I want to be the first? All my life I wanted to be the first. And now I gotta get some elegance and congratulate this Chloë? I don’t feel very elegant right now. And I got to talk my own team into still believing even though we’re not going to be first anymore. Somebody talk me off this cliff!

Stoll: Wait, wait, something’s going on here.

Nyad: It’s the 11th hour. Wait a second, wait a second. Chloë’s ping is traveling southeast.

Stoll: She’s heading back towards Cuba.

Nyad: Bartlett’s going out of his mind. No, every expedition, even the space races, wished safety for the others. But you honestly want the others to fail. Being first is the holy grail Bartlett’s jumping for joy. He says they’re swirling in an eddy and these people don’t even know what eddies are.

Stoll: Only an hour after the eddy pulls them off course, we hear a CNN report. Chloë has also been stung by the box. She’s breathing and she’s on deck. They’re motoring to get her to a hospital in Havana.

Nyad: Well, as long as she’s alright. My turn….

When Nyad Went National

Dan Levin’s “She Takes a Long Swim Off a Short Pier” gave Diana Nyad her first national exposure and foreshadowed decades of deceit.

When the December 6, 1971, issue of Sports Illustrated appeared on newsstands, Diana Nyad’s marathon swimming career consisted of three pro race finishes out of five starts. Yet, by the end of the first paragraph of “She Takes a Long Swim Off a Short Pier” (archived), author Dan Levin had declared that Nyad, the “pretty distance swimmer . . . with honey-colored skin and built like a Greek goddess,” was “the best woman distance swimmer in the world.”

Nyad was already the best at something, but it wasn’t marathon swimming.

Here’s more nonsense from Nyad’s national debut:
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Department of Corrections: Diana Nyad on People are Talking, 1989

A few weeks ago, Laura Dean, a musician who created a program called “Heart And Place: Music Of The Westward Expansion,” emailed me to ask how many violins I thought the Lewis and Clark Expedition carried: one or two? In my opinion, I told Dean, they carried one.

Let me back up for a moment. I play the violin, and I used to present a show about one of the fiddlers with Lewis and Clark. I learned in 1997 that the expedition included two fiddling crew members: Pierre Cruzatte and George Gibson. I also learned that Cruzatte, the expedition’s half-French, half-Omaha boatman, is best-known for accidentally shooting Captain Lewis in his rear-end. Cruzatte’s story was ripe for the telling.

Image courtesy of Michael from McKinley Elementary, Santa Monica, circa 2001.

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Chasing The Swimmer, part 2: Key West ♡s Diana Nyad

Before Diana jumped in the water off Havana, she knew exactly where she would land: A Key West beach perfect for a statue. The Swimmer tells all.

part 1 – part 2 – part 3

All quotes come from the Audible version of The Swimmer: The Diana Nyad Story unless otherwise indicated.

What’s Left?

Diana Nyad (presumably) making some adjustments. Via CNN/diananyad.com.

Nyad’s almost through the second night of her Cuba swim, but she’s in trouble. A few hours ago, she waited out a storm, treading water for about an hour and a half. The sea has stopped churning, but her stomach hasn’t. She retches again. Bits of vomit stick inside her jellyfish mask.

At about 5 a.m., John Bartlett—captain of Nyad’s escort boat, Voyager—declares that Diana’s “running on fumes.”
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A 23-Year-Old Speech Exposes Diana Nyad’s Decades of Deception

The recently unearthed transcript of a 1997 Diana Nyad speech confirms that she is a serial liar, if not a compulsive one. The document also shows that, in all likelihood, she fabricated her abuse allegations.

It’s important if you are going to take a look at your life
that you have to be honest about it.
—Diana Nyad, “The Courage to Succeed”

In September of 1997, members of the American Railway Bridge and Building Association gathered in Kansas City, Missouri, for their 102nd annual meeting. Glancing at the program, attendees might have been surprised to find, sandwiched between more routine offerings such as “Explosive Removal of Bridges,” “Safety Improvement Trends in Maintenance of Way Equipment,” and “Reopening of Stampede Pass,” something unexpected: “The Courage to Succeed,” presented by “Diana Nyad, Journalist.”

I recently came across a transcript of that presentation. It establishes beyond any doubt that, for Diana Nyad, lying is standard procedure. The transcript also provides the most persuasive evidence to date that Nyad fabricated her sexual abuse allegations against her high school swim coach.
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The Olympic Roots of Diana Nyad’s Abuse Allegations

Diana Nyad’s abuse allegations grow from her failure to achieve her first Xtreme Dream: Winning a gold medal at the Olympics.

“Nyad, you’re going to be the best swimmer in the world.”
—Diana Nyad quoting Jack Nelson, Find A Way, p. 43

Whether Jack Nelson said exactly those words or not, a young Diana Nyad heard them as a promise. The moment her high school coach made that promise, reaching the Olympics became Nyad’s obsession, her original Xtreme Dream.

Most young swimmers have that same fantasy. It becomes a reality for a few, while the rest manage to work through their disappointment and move on.

Well, most of the rest. When Jack Nelson told Diana Nyad she could be great, an Olympic medal became, in her mind, a foregone conclusion. Over half-a-century later, she still wraps herself in the security blanket of her failure every time she strides out to face an audience.
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Diana Nyad, Extraordinary Human

In a talk for the Australian organization Business Chicks, Diana Nyad sunk to new lows. Here’s a quick fact check of Nyad’s most recent fiesta of falsehoods.

All quotes from Extraordinary Humans: Diana Nyad unless otherwise noted.

Crack Open a Cool One — It’s Virus Time!

I don’t want to look back constantly and cast back, “Oh, I did that, and wasn’t that great.”

So said Diana Nyad regarding her Cuba-Florida triumph. On the other hand,

There was so much depth to it, so much inspiration to it, that I wanted, during this COVID virus time, to look back at my own story.

Diana spent about an hour looking back. She mostly stuck to her stump speech but threw in a few embellishments, varied a few themes, and added a finale that left me trembling in my surf booties.

She also added some appalling bits to her preamble. We’ll get to that later.
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Chasing The Swimmer, Part 1: A Boring, Blustery Thing of Beauty

Last September, Diana Nyad brought her two-person show, The Swimmer: The Diana Nyad Story, to New York City. Her three-day run was the near-culmination of one of Diana’s fantasies: to perform on Broadway. As usual, she filled her show with exaggerations and lies.

part 1 – part 2part 3

She performed it at the sixth-largest Off-Broadway theatre

It is both an honor and a thrill to have the largest NY off Broadway Theater, the Minetta Lane, present me this opportunity.  (FB, 18 Sep 2019)

The Minetta Lane Theater is New York’s largest off Broadway theater and I do believe we brought down the house last night…. (FB, 27 Sep 2019)

…and the New York Times didn’t review it…

And, um, it went well…. The New York Times gave us a glowing review. (Nyad at the Ebell)

…and she really wanted to present it on Broadway, not off.
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Diana Tells Some Truth on Launchpad to What’s Next

At a brief presentation last May, Diana Nyad corrected a few of her favorite lies. Not all of them, but enough to create a stir at the Annex.

A Sport Beyond

1968 was not a good year for Diana Nyad.

Her beloved high school coach, Jack Nelson, had promised her (or so she thought) that her zeal would win her an Olympic medal.  With the Mexico City games on the horizon, Nyad scrambled to make the trials. But no matter how hard she swam, she couldn’t swim fast enough to qualify. And so ended the first of her aquatic dreams.
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